(I feel that, on the one hand, this is good for the body, while on the other hand, our compassion must not diminish. But when you look at that whatever it is on the table, you eat while thinking, “Sinful, sinful.”)
Then learn some methods for helping beings cross over, and help them cross over. But you can also say that, if you really think of it again and again and truly want to, then go ahead and eat vegetarian food. What are you afraid of? Eat some vegetables.
(I always feel that sometimes I’m too hypocritical.)
That isn’t hypocrisy. People are creatures of habit. In terms of the nature of mind, what you said is right. Yes—cognition.
(I also know that perhaps I need to practice patience and strengthen my character.)
But when there is a self, practicing patience is very hard, because it really is endurance. That is because you have a Dawei there, and Dawei is the one enduring it. But if there is no Dawei, who is there? Wisdom must ultimately break through to there being no Dawei there; it has to break through this. Once there is a Dawei, you are finished—you will suffer.
“Mine, mine, mine. You have touched me; you have hurt me”—that is what it is. And this kind of definition and cognition—I just said, it has a purpose; it is a definition. But why, when he defines you with a purpose, do you accept his channel and line yourself up with that position?
It isn’t like that. We have habitual tendencies, but the Buddha said they are empty; we should not define them. When he defines you and targets you in that way, shift yourself aside. Do not identify with it; do not acknowledge that he is bad. This is important, and sometimes it is a method too. I am not saying he cannot truly be bad to you; simply do not identify with that.
In your eyes, do not see his badness toward you. Because you will think: when you are, say, a practitioner, as we are, and this person is bad to you, in your eyes you keep your attention on him: this person also has beautiful things; in his heart he also longs for things that are beautiful, pure, and sacred. He just cannot find them, so he becomes increasingly extreme; he is envious, crazy, and evil, and he is too deeply stained.
And you must believe that there is goodness in his heart too. This is what the Buddha said: everyone is a Buddha; everyone has Buddha-nature within. In the deepest part of his being, even the most evil person has a little love, a little goodness, and some such things. It is just that at that moment those things have not manifested toward me. Perhaps they manifest toward his child or his mother, but toward us, his friends, they do not appear. Keep your attention on that little bit, you know. As long as you keep being tolerant, as long as you forgive him, one day he will manifest it toward you.
If you keep your attention on this bit of goodness, on that bit of goodness deep in every person’s heart, you know, little by little you will feel that everyone is your friend, and you will win everyone’s respect. Do not look at his bad side. That badness will change for him too. If you forgive him and show compassion, he will change.
It is just hard for us to notice: sometimes he harms those… That is why patience is needed, and why Bodhisattvas practice patience. When a Bodhisattva practices patience, it is because there is a self that is enduring; and certainly, you endure because someone has targeted you. If they are not targeting you…
All these things exist on the surface. But as you just said, how do you turn this cognition around? What position do you put yourself in? Do you look from the position of the small self, of no-self, or of a Buddha? The position of a Bodhisattva?
And you must believe that the power of compassion is tremendous. The thing is, none of you knows how to be compassionate. But if you truly are compassionate, there is nothing that cannot be transformed; even the most evil person will certainly change in your presence.
(Does this kind of power exist?)
It does. Compassion has this kind of power. It is not simply a kind of tolerance. Endurance—putting up with something—has a limit. When it reaches its limit… Sometimes compassion is when you discover that you look at him—all of him, whatever is his…—as you would your own child: the more serious his mistakes, the more your heart aches.
The more deeply stained he is, the more you see that he understands nothing, that he does not know what he is doing; perhaps in his next life he will go to hell. The more evil he is, and the more extreme and poisonous the bad things he does, the more poisonous the abuse he hurls at you, the more pitiful you feel he is. He truly does not know what he is doing. He is poisoned. The Buddha said that we are poisoned by the Five Desires.
Harming others is harming yourself. We need not judge this; that is a matter of causes and conditions—“Sir has Sir’s own causes and conditions.” In any case, if you are always framing others, continually envious of others, and always hating others, you will certainly end up living poorly. Let us just say that even if none of this is happening around him, his own heart is occupied every day by envy, the root of hatred, and harming others. Do you think he can be at ease? He does not see happiness for a single day, nor calm down for a single day. His life is already tiring enough. If something else happens around him…
(In real life, when Buddhism speaks of us working with others and eating together…)
You are already very complete, I think, and you are also content.
(If someone suddenly cuts us twice with a knife, and we cover the wounds, and then…)
You definitely have to run, I’m telling you. I mean, in ordinary matters, he has not even touched a hair on your body—these are just trivial matters, because nothing so extreme has happened. If someone really cuts you twice with a knife, when your life is truly at stake, why would you…? You certainly have to fight back. First, fight back; second, run too. If you cannot beat him, can’t you at least hide? Get out of the way.
(I still have to confront him head-on and resist.)
But with resistance, the most important thing is what you think in your heart. A Buddha, a Bodhisattva, and an ordinary person have different cognitions, but their actions may be the same. Two people may both be fighting back in self-defense, but deep in a Bodhisattva’s heart it may be this: we also hit children, but when we hit them, it is out of love, not hatred.
(Whether it is philosophy or Buddhism, when you get to the very root, it is just a few animals turning around on this platform. How do we ultimately transcend this level and make ourselves empty and free? How do we become empty and free?)
It is simply a cognition in consciousness.
(What you yourself think you are is actually all up to you—the teacher’s “felt experience”: feeling uncomfortable, feeling humiliated, feeling aggrieved, and all these problems.)
No problem. But sometimes, for example, some people cultivate through felt experiences. For example, some people specifically… If they are practitioners, they will not fight over these things; they may go sweep the toilet. But when sweeping the toilet, they still feel bad. They feel the sensation of being bullied, as if thinking: “Since people are bullying me, I will just swallow it and accept it.” At that moment it is certainly uncomfortable, but it cannot be put into words. You will look directly at that felt experience and face where it comes from.
In that case, first, you certainly have a self. Practitioners say that the self is illusory; first of all, they believe that the self is illusory. So why am I still trapped in this felt experience of self? Practitioners also say that the Heart Sutra teaches, “Feeling is Emptiness.” Feeling is Emptiness, Emptiness is Feeling. To realize this, one must be liberated from this kind of felt experience.
This kind of felt experience gives him precisely an opportunity for liberation; without felt experience, you could not realize it—you would have no way to realize that feeling is Emptiness, right? So when he is about to become liberated from this, this felt experience is precisely giving him an opportunity for cultivation.
He may suddenly see through the self: while sweeping the toilet, why can’t I be happy right here and now? In that instant of happiness, he may let go of all the self, that self-conceit, that sense of honor belonging to the self, all those things, and his self-respect—all of it.
At that time, it is not that he has lost his self-respect; it is that he does not care about what this person gives him, and does not care about other people’s recognition. His self-respect is still there. Whatever he does, his self-respect is still there; whatever he does, that status and identity are still there. They do not disappear just because of what he does…
He does not live in other people’s recognition, nor does he live in what other people tell him to do. He is simply as he is; he is a Buddha, or whatever he is. Nothing he does can change that inner confidence. He does not live in other people’s… How he sees things—that is someone else’s business.
You must be liberated from this kind of felt experience. Your life cannot be trapped in any felt experience, including physiological and psychological ones; these are all felt experiences. As long as a felt experience makes you uncomfortable, you are certainly trapped. You are trapped there, and your life is trapped there. Yes, that is the small self; it is narrow. In that way, being trapped in a pleasant felt experience or a painful one is the same.
If there is ten percent happiness, I think that is good. If there is no unhappiness at all, I think, how meaningless that would be—the life would be like a cup of plain water. If there is a little stirring, a little impact, life in comparison…
Actually, you are already very perfect and complete. You said so yourself: you have everything. In this world, having everything cannot be perfect, you know. If you feel that you are perfect and have everything, there must be some shortcomings constantly striking and colliding with you, so that you can be balanced, right? Yin and yang have to be balanced.
(Otherwise it would be frightening.)
It is not really frightening, I think; it is impossible. It is impossible that only this appears—that everything is perfect and everything belongs to you. What makes you so perfect? What makes you so complete? Everyone is living with such difficulty; what makes you so complete? Aren’t you provoking envy? You are simply… aren’t you provoking it? This is it: your perfection itself provokes it. Why do you have so much? Why do I have so little?
You make other people unable to bear it. They are already worried to death, and you are so happy? Even the smart leave some room in reserve; really, you have gone too far. But that does not matter—are you still living in his cognition? At my age, am I still living in your cognition? Say whatever you like. You must have this kind of carefree freedom, this kind of ease. I live my life; if you call me dog shit, does that make me dog shit? You have to train yourself gradually, until your heart is simply that confident.
(In other words, I simply don’t care about you; look at me however you like…)
That is absolute confidence. The self is forceful, the self is strong—that is where the illness lies. Yes, that is where the illness lies; the heart is blocked there, and that is where the illness lies. First, you have to have a Dawei there. Then Dawei is supposed to be a certain way—you have already defined him. Dawei is supposed to be placed in this position, not that position: put in the Golden Hall, not in the toilet. First you define Dawei: “What makes you, Dawei, so special? Are you perfect? Are you perfect in this world?”
If you rely only on external perfection—power, status, being wealthy, being influential, or obtaining something—if you rely on these things, do you know what? These are external conditions; they are not yours. Many people can despise you. Today you have it, and I can place you in the Golden Hall; tomorrow you do not, and I will put you under my feet.
If you rely on confidence within yourself, it does not matter. You can be president today; you can be wealthy. Even if I have no money, I am still fine. If my inner confidence is there, others cannot trample you, you know? If you are put underfoot, you are still Dawei; if you are placed in the Golden Hall, you are still Dawei. What has changed in Dawei?
You are the one who defines Dawei: “I am Dawei; Dawei should be such-and-such.” That is the end of it. As soon as other people fail to act according to your definition, you are hurt. This is a misconception, a blind spot. You think there should be a certain way; self-awareness asks what it should be like? There is no “should.”
If the emperor’s daughter strains her waist, that is unacceptable—she cannot bear it. She cannot use an ordinary mind or an equal mind. Ordinarily, I think this way: What is so great about me? Whatever I do, I can do what others can do. As long as human beings in this world can do it, from the highest to the lowest, I should be able to do it too—even the worst thing.
Because you are simply a person—what else are you? You are a person. Aren’t you just this tall, just this… a person, a woman? The remaining external conditions are bestowed on you by Heaven. Or you rely on external conditions: if others respect and recognize you, you are somebody; if they do not respect you, you are nothing.
Suppose we are the president of China and go to the United States, where they do not recognize us as president. What are we then? That is an external condition; it has nothing to do with you. What defines our inner self is simply that we are women, genuinely women; the rest is how high your soul and spiritual level are. Your spiritual level—you live in… this may raise your level. What else do you have? Everyone is the same, equal. What she can do, I can do; what she can do, I can do too. There is nothing else—we are all equal.
It is just that in this life, our opportunities, conditions, and blessings happen to show us sitting in a certain position. In the next life, who will be in that position and where we will be, no one knows. Every life is different.
We can cherish what we have obtained and possess, but that should not become a condition by which we define ourselves. We are simply this ordinary, simple self; every woman is, and every man is. Men all over the world are much the same, and women all over the world are much the same.
It is simply unfortunate that you sit in a certain position and seem a little higher than others; it is unfortunate that you have obtained a little more than others. But you will have to repay it in your next life. In this life, you have merely spent more of your savings.
No—that is all there is to it. If a person does not realize Buddhahood, attain enlightenment, or reach complete enlightenment, everyone has greed, hatred, delusion, arrogance, and doubt; everyone is all those things, eating, drinking, urinating, defecating, and sleeping, solving their own problems every day. Everyone lives in “me” and “mine”; everyone has greed, hatred, delusion, arrogance, and doubt. Daily life is simply repetitive, all for “mine” and “me” as we consider things. From thought to body, we are exactly the same. What is there?
Think about it—aren’t human nature’s contents all those things? The only noble difference is that one person’s character is a little better than another’s, one person is a little more upright or kind. That is all there is to compare. What else is there? As for beauty and ugliness, anyone can have either. Beauty grows old and becomes ugly with age. What is there? All those things are changeable, constantly changing. Once you see through them, there is nothing to it.
Why do I say that some things—you yourself feel are nothing? First of all, if you do not take yourself to be anything, then no one can hurt you. If you take yourself to be someone, then he can hurt you. You are nothing; I am nothing—that is how it is. Today, I accidentally fall; when you are under someone’s roof, you have to bow your head, so I bow it a little. Tomorrow I stand on the roof, higher than you. It is that simple. Conditions change, and you should not resent me for standing higher than you; I am standing on the roof because my causes and conditions have matured.
And when we are very satisfied—for example, when someone is very wealthy—you have to know that this world has defects, and people in this world are envious. When you are wealthy and powerful, you must do things that benefit others.
For example, if you are already very wealthy but keep saving it, reluctant to spend so much money, then you must learn giving. Otherwise people will certainly envy you, and something will happen to you. You also clearly know that the people around you have envy. When you give things away, you are actually easing that envy. That is why many wealthy people engage in philanthropy.
And when you have power, benefiting others, helping others, or whatever it may be—these things actually ease their envy of you and bring your life to a state of balance.
You cannot demand that others not envy you. Why are you so perfect? Because many people have defects; everyone lives so tightly, so unhappily. You are complete, so perfect—do you think nothing will happen to you? Out of envy, he will make something happen to you, sabotaging you behind your back. There is no other reason; it is not that you are bad. He envies you.
But you cannot… do not think that because he envies you, he is a bad person. That is human nature. You have made yourself too complete, too extreme; you have taken it too far—it really is not the other person… You have overdone it.
(So that means we should always leave ourselves a little incomplete.)
You can be content, but you cannot say that this will last forever. If you feel that, in many respects, at the same level, you have too much; let some of it go. Do not possess too much in this world.
(What is not a problem for someone else becomes a problem for you. … If I had had this realization and understanding earlier, I would have swallowed it.)
It is not a matter of swallowing it or not swallowing it. You may still argue; you may argue, or you may not. Or not argue: if I feel like arguing with you today, I will argue. It is really like a cat catching a mouse. If I am in a good mood today, I will argue with you a little and see who is stronger; tomorrow, if I am not in the mood, if I am feeling lazy, and you happen to be bad, I will just go sweep and be done with it.
There is no such thing as swallowing it or not swallowing it. You simply do not care, and you do not keep score; once the matter is over, you forget it, and you simply do not take it seriously—you treat it as sweeping at home. Don’t you clean your own toilet at home? You are just sweeping your own toilet. It is that simple.
It is simply not caring—simply, fundamentally… Today I might say, “Why are you such a bad person? You are always against me.” Today I might give you a little something; I might quarrel with you and see—I would certainly be better than you. You can argue; no problem. But your state of mind is different.
If you maintain that state of mind in which you are not hurt, and your wisdom is high, how could you lose an argument to him? How could you fail to prevail in an argument? You are not angry at all; you deal with it lightly, and let him change it for you.
You sit there lightly and simply refuse to go. “What are you going to do?” “I’m not going to sweep today; I don’t want to.” “I said we should replace someone.” “If you don’t replace me, I’m not going. I won’t do it. What can you do to me?” And so on. As long as you have a relaxed, humorous state of mind and do not take yourself seriously, no one can knock you down. What can they do?
Because sometimes the self in you is rigid—some things are hard and stiff, with edges and corners. Sometimes your smoothness is also not true roundness; it means you have not seen through some things and cannot make fun of yourself, so you place yourself at a certain height. Once you place yourself at a height, you feel that this is harm.
Remove that height. You may be high, or you may be low. Remove that height, and you are truly high, I am telling you. There is no high or low anymore. If you have a height, there must be something low. Then you are at ease; there is no fixed way you should be.
First, we are people, and then we are women; this is the most basic thing. Then we have a job like this, and a family like this. This is the truth of our existence in this world.
Besides that, what is there in our wisdom? We possess some wisdom; we are upright and kind. In terms of character, we look down on some evil villains. That is all we have. We are not liberated; we are simply ordinary people. What can we do? We are doing a job, and many people envy this job. We are simply such ordinary people. What can we do? How can we live?
Then someone bullies us—or we think he is bullying us—and we get angry. It is really that simple. We can also not get angry and not keep score with him; we can also keep score and defeat him. Either is fine. We simply do not need to worry over it. This is no issue for you; it does you no harm. He cannot hurt you even by a hair. All the hurt is a program your own mind has written for itself.
You simply do not think about him. He may not be happy—and how could he be happy? If a person always acts with a purpose, always targets someone, and has already turned it over hundreds of times in his mind, he will never be happy, you know. Always remember this: people who harm others can never be happy.
Note: This text was prepared from a teaching video by Yang Ning. If it differs from the video, the video takes precedence. Watch the video.